It’s Better This Way by Travis Hill
Evan lives in a world that has been destroyed by alien “bulls” that have destroyed and harvested minerals from major cities. He, and his partner Tony, scavenge things that are useful from the areas around them. On a trip, they come across a downed alien craft and a dead bull – it’s the closest they’ve ever come to one of the aliens and it spooks them.
They travel back to “The Farm,” where they live, and tell the leaders about what they’ve found. They decided how to handle the situation.
Meanwhile, they get a visit from someone who claims to be military, trying to recruit people for their cause: taking down the bulls.
When I started reading this story, I thought it had strong promise. I was quickly disappointed. There were large plot holes (just one example: at one point it was night time and then all of a sudden they’re getting ready to leave in the morning).
Next, the author explains at length that the people at The Farm, and general society, have no use for last names, and then almost every character after that point has a last name. That was a waste of words and completely inconsistent.
Then there were more inconsistencies in grammar and editing. Sometimes it was correct, and in the next paragraph it would be the wrong way (mainly in and around dialogue with dialogue tags).
The end was a total and complete disappointment with more huge plot holes. This story also suffers from telling not showing, which is another major breach in good storytelling.
I give this story: 1 QUILLS